Why the hopelessness?

Mar 05, 2021

There truly is no exact explanation. It feels like an ache on the heart, something keying away at inner peace, something making you feel a deep sense of nihilism that nothing is really here - why bother? Maybe there is no value to the work we're doing, and maybe it's all for nothing, maybe you're just tired and everything feels hopeless just the way it is. A deep sense of falling into a void over and over again from time to time, not knowing how to pull yourself out of an empty pit.

Maybe that's what hopelessness feels like. It can be strange, that a moment can be one where someone just can't see what comes for them in future, they just can't deal with the internal anxiety that has bred for so many years. At the same time, on the other hand stands the high ideal that if anything is worked and put into focus for just about the right amount of time, anything can happen.

It takes guts, courage, and bravery, to be honest, when morning feels like inescapable traps, and you just can't pull yourself out of it. You just believe that there is no point, there is no meaning, that all there ever was only existed just because.

"10 more minutes, 5 more minutes, 2 more minutes", and yet you don't wake up, you prolong it further, you know you'll do it again and again, yet there is no will or desire to take action. Because, it as we say, "there is no point".

Yet things like this simply aren't true to their core, and there is more to life that always being on the edge, with anxiety, sadness, and not knowing where to go and what to do. It's just one of those things in life that everyone has to go through one way or another at some points of their life to really understand that... I don't know, what is there to understand? Is there always a good or bad to every outcome?

Where does all the energy go? And being frank, it all depends on where we wish to redirect it to, as simple or mundane it sounds.

We are not ghosts of our past, neither are we circumstantial beings built on being rigorously defined by what happened a millennia ago.

There is always something worth living for. Something worth fighting for. Something worth growing for. Something which says, "think less, do more". This abysmal feeling of nothing ever being worth something is absolutely pathetic, and should be disregarded right at the right moments.

There is thus always good that can be done, something which would make your and my corner of the world a bit better for everyone around us. That does not come from a feeling of dread or existentialism, but rather the joy of living, of hope, happiness, and fulfillment. You and me aren't inadequate as often we put up images of ourselves as that. It's rather what we paint ourselves to be in spite of everything.

Too long, didn't read? Just do. Don't overthink.

Saif Ul Islam

Undergrad @ FAST NUCES | Upcoming SWE

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