Day in and day out, I've been continuously thinking, trying to improve, and practice more and more self discipline within myself as an eventual CS graduate in order to pace myself as someone who is a really, really fast problem solver, thinker, discussion starter and a quick generator of ideas. I've been trying all of this for the past July and August, but now it's coming back to me as emotional numbness
What does that mean?
It means staring at your screen not knowing what to do or how to handle the stress as the day keeps on going. Tired, and really confused, it feels like you're stuck at this weird mental phase and a barrier is stopping you from going back to that cheerful and ready person you were at the start of the journey.
It's a certain feeling of emptiness, not exactly anxiety, but which can come from anxiety itself.
Is That Bad?
I would say in my case, emotional numbness isn't exactly that bad. What terrifies you at first is why all of your capabilities are acting weird – you're not thinking like before, your mind starts falling into very fixed steps on how to think, maybe it can lead to a slight burnout if you're not careful, but for me, what helped me was realizing that feeling emotionally numb is alright, and not too quite bad.
You don't have to be at the top of your game every single time, you don't have to always come up with brilliant or bright ideas, sometimes, it takes time and effort, sometimes good ideas come naturally.
But always is true that if you want to cultivate discipline, you must learn to discipline yourself, to not overthink, and to not fall into stress and anxiety. Learning to trust the process is key here, and of course while at first, that may not be apparent, it's a realization that will come with time and patience.
So cheer up! Don't be too hard on yourself. Find some friends, change your routine, find variety in what you do, and you just might find a way!
Take a break, go for a walk, relax, take life slow sometimes, and if you feel like it, find new hobbies to work on and message friends you might not have talked to in a while.
While help from inside the person is always needed, a little help from others can prove to be nothing short of a miracle – however you are, wherever you are.
Well, that's for all today now. Take care, stay safe!